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The Bureau of Balance is a group established a year before the events of Story 1: Here There Be Gerblins, dedicated to destroying the Grand Relics that would allow a group or person to gain so much power they could wreak havoc against others. The bureau's base is in what appeared to be a moon from the world below. Along with player characters Magnus Burnsides, Taako, and Merle Highchurch (who are assigned as Reclaimers within the bureau), the NPCs Killian, Carey Fangbattle and others are Regulators with the bureau, seeking out Grand Relics on their behalf.

Most members of the Bureau wear blue and white uniforms that look almost militaristic, except for Johann, who wears colorful bard garb.

Voidfish and Secrets Edit

The bureau is also home to the Voidfish, a creature used to wipe out specific memories of all people. Upon drinking from the Voidfish's tank, the drinker becomes aware of all of the memories that the Voidfish is aware of, but had been previously stricken from the mind of the drinker. When someone erased from a person's mind is discussed, their brain cannot process the information, and they hear a static-like sound instead. If they later drink from the Voidfish, they will remember what was said.

Headquarters Edit

The Bureau of Balance headquarters is located on a floating moonbase designed by Lucas Miller. (Residents of Faerun just think it's the second moon). Areas in the Bureau of Balance headquarters have a lot of geodesic and ornate dome-shaped structures made of glass. Specific areas on the campus of the Bureau of Balance include:

  • Main Hangar Bay: a giant geodesic dome with big cannons on one side for shooting the glass spheres that the Bureau uses for traveling down to the main earth. Avi hangs out there most of the time.
  • Quad: A lush, grassy quad in the middle of the moonbase. It has the best grass.
  • Voidfish's Quarters: The entrance to the Voidfish's chamber is a shallow dome with an obelisk sticking out of it, and an elevator column within. A BoB bracer can call the elevator, which leads to the Voidfish's chamber. The elevator opens into a chamber with plenty of guards. Through a door on the other end lays the Voidfish's chamber, a dark room with only a giant tank that stretches up several stories to the ceiling. Inside the tank: the Voidfish. There is a slot at the bottom of the tank where Johann can feed the Voidfish his original compositions. There is also a spigot, from which people can drink the Voidfish ichor to become inoculated to the knowledge of the Bureau of Balance.
  • The Director's Office: Within the grandest dome is the Director's Office. It's reminiscent of a throne room with a dais,[1] and the carpet magically repels dirt. A door in the wall leads to a Cerebro-like chamber visible from a giant window in the office (when not in use, the window is covered with a curtain).
  • The Arena! As heard in Ep. 8, there is an arena for the administration of the test to join the Bureau. The arena is circular and has three large iron lattice gates leading in. There is a giant stone pillar that reaches from the center of the arena floor to the roof. There is an alcove on the outside wall, about 20 feet up, with a mounted canon with a driver's seat. The canon has four rows of glass balls and each of those is filled with a different color of fluid. There's also a skybridge (80 ft long, 6 ft wide) above the arena with a metal pedestal in the middle. The pedestal has a big red button, which would administer a shock to the other two positions.
  • Fantasy Costco: An independent retailer and the only non-dome building on the moon. Garfield the Deals Warlock presides over these good, good deals.
  • Fantasy Gashapon: From the Arena, head to the third dome on the right. Inside that dome is actually a smaller dome, inside of that dome is the chamber of Leon the Artificer.
  • Chug N Squeeze

Roles Edit

The Bureau of Balance has three main roles or job titles for those engaged in the mission to destroy the Grand Relics.

Reclaimers Edit

The main task of the Reclaimers is to hunt down and retrieve Grand Relics. The player characters are three such Reclaimers. There are an unknown number of Reclaimers employed by the Bureau prior to the gang joining up (all of whom must be fairly bad at their job if they've missed the relics for this long).

As of Ep. 28: Lunar Interlude 2 - Internal Affairs, all Reclaimers except the player characters had been reassigned to different roles, leaving Magnus, Taako, and Merle as the only Reclaimers at the Bureau of Balance. Leeman Kessler is another known Reclaimer, but he died prior to Story 2.

Seekers Edit

Seekers look out for any information regarding the Relics, but are forbidden from claiming them for themselves. Currently, active seekers include Angus McDonald. Former Seekers include Magic Brian and Capt. Captain Bain.

Regulators Edit

Regulators' main task is to hunt down and apprehend creatures who have found or used a Grand Relic. They may also act as bodyguards for the Reclaimers. Regulators include Killian, Carey Fangbattle, and Boyland.

Rules Edit

The Bureau of Balance maintains a strict no-dog policy on the base, due to the high number of dogs that have escaped the base's gravity. The Bureau also forbids the direct sale, trade, or gifting of magical items between Bureau of Balance employees; the loophole to this rule is that items can be traded or sold through games of chance, or through independent merchants. The Bureau does not encourage murder of non-employees in Faerun, but does not forbid it.

Official Bureau of Balance health plan: don't die.

People Edit

Name Position Status
Angus McDonald Seeker Active
Avi Cannon Manager Active
Boyland Regulator Inactive, Deceased
Brad Bradson HR Manager Active
Capt. Captain Bain Seeker Inactive, Renegade, Deceased
Carey Fangbattle Regulator Active
Davenport Ward/Butler Active
Garfield the Deals Warlock Independent Merchant Active
Johann Gamekeeper Inactive, Deceased (?)
Killian Regulator Active
Leeman Kessler Reclaimer Inactive, Deceased
Leon Resident Artificer Active
Lucas Miller Unofficial Scientific Advisor Inactive, Renegade
Lucretia, The Director Director Active
Magic Brian Seeker Inactive, Renegade, Deceased
Magnus Burnsides Captain Reclaimer Active
Merle Highchurch Doc Reclaimer Active
NO-3113 Regulator Active
Robbie Unknown, Possibly Resident Alchemist Inactive, Imprisoned
Taako Lead Reclaimer Active
Voidfish Voidfish Active

References Edit

  1. "A fancy-ass platform," according to Griffin in Ep. 8.

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