|“||Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends. Come on in, it's time to party with... Garfield and Friends. It's the Adventure Zone!||”|
Full transcript available here.
In this first chapter in a new Adventure Zone story, Merle, Taako and Magnus are in hot pursuit of a master criminal in the metropolitan city of Goldcliff. Can they stop The Raven before her crime spree tears the town apart? I don't know, because we haven't finished playing this part of the campaign yet. Magnus does some chopping. Taako learns to Nightcrawl. Merle has a genuinely upsetting encounter with some vines.
The Blood Eagle Saga Edit
The DM drops the heroes directly into a fight in the Bureau of Balance's answer to the MMA's Octagon, the Icosagon. They square off with Avi, Killian, and Robbie (a.k.a. Pringles). The fight is a friendly scrimmage for the entertainment of BoB employees, who want to see what the three Reclaimers (who have already brought back two Grand Relics!) are capable of in combat.
The fight is interrupted by the voice of The Director, who requests your presence in her office. She has an urgent message for the heroes, which they immediately interrupt. Once they are done with the goofing, she explains that the heroes need to go to Goldcliff to recover a Grand Relic that one of the BoB's Seekers has found. The Grand Relic is currently in the hands of the master criminal The Raven.
That's So Raven Edit
This time, the Director says, she is able to give the trio some helpful information. The Raven is using the Gaia Sash, which gives the bearer control over nature. Although The Raven would be as powerful as a god were she to relocate in a forest, she remains in one of the largest cities in the realm. The trio will need to work with the Goldcliff militia to help apprehend The Raven and retrieve the Gaia Sash, while remaining discreet. The trio is pretty confident in their ability to pull this off.
The Director described the Seeker that they'll need to contact, but says that he is working in secret as well. After some pressure, she tells them the Seeker is Captain Bain, Captain of the Goldcliff Militia.
BoB Flight 2403 to Goldcliff International Edit
With the Mission Briefing over, the trio head over to Avi at the launch pad, who is still sweaty from their scrimmage earlier. The trio is eager to get going on the next adventure, but not before Taako asks for a dram of Fantasy Dramamine from Avi, who offers them a nip of hooch instead. Deciding they don't want to make a habit of it (Taako: "If only there were a word for that, you know? Making a habit out of drinking too much alcohol?"), the trio get in the fun ball and are off!
This trip down is the most scenic one yet, in part due to the scenic nature of Goldcliff. The trio observes what might be a race going on in the desert outside of town, right before they descend into the city itself. The largest building in town, the 20-story tall Goldcliff Trust, is both a) made of gold and b) currently being swallowed up in vines. Some vagrants are hanging out outside.
The vines might be relevant to the story Edit
Magnus uses the Lens of Straight Creepin', which shows him the tracks from vagrants' hoop tracks. Meanwhile, Taako runs to the building, leading the others to the entrance, where Goldcliff Militia are hanging out. They encounter Capt. Captain Bain, who is "brick shithouse big," (as opposed to Magnus, who is merely oak shithouse big.) They confirm that they, too, are BoB agents, which Bain verifies by checking out their bracers (eventually).
Capt. Bain gives them the situation: The Raven is terrorizing the town with... vines, which completely block the entrance to the Goldcliff Trust. Magnus rushes in to chop, hack, and slash on the vines using Railsplitter, to no avail.
Fifty Shades of Green Edit
Merle casts Channel Divinity: Charm Animals and Plants, and straight up hits on the vines. It's pretty upsetting, but it gets them in the door.
They find themselves in a courtyard, which has a fountain. The fountain has a big tree in it, and some vines are coming around everywhere. A shrill alarm is going off. Magnus uses the Lens of Straight Creepin' to see a set of footprints that goes for a while and then vanishes every 15 feet or so.
The tree is actually a Treeant! Named Trent.
Tree Fight! Edit
Merle succeeds his saving roll, so Trent smacks Magnus and Taako with an enormous limb, causing 14 pts of damage. Everyone rolls initiative and top of the order is Taako, who casts Blink. As Taako blinks into the ethereal plane, he sees three gray figures with bright white eyes in the ethereal plane, who then blink out of view. Clint casts Prayer of Healing on Magnus, which is both successful, and the first time he cast a healing spell.
Magnus runs up to the tree and uses Railsplitter to cut through Trent like a hot knife through water. It topples backwards into the booths, which sends up all kinds of paperwork and causes 30 damage. Trent makes eye contact with Magnus and screams at him, very loud with sap pouring out of his mouth.
What will happen next! Will Trent's uppance come? Tune in next time.
The Money Zone Edit
Sponsored by OneMonth.
Sponsored by Casper.
Message for Lindsey from Arthur: Happy birthday to the only person who could talk me into listening to a DnD podcast. Now a romantic evening means a bottle of wine, a synth-heavy score, and the sultry voice of that sweet, sweet dungeon master. Love you, sweets!
Commercial message: Check out Elderwood Boxes. Elderwood Boxes makes pocket-sized artistic wooden boxes to transport your Dungeons and Dragons dice in style. They personally select the finest woods to hand-craft pocket-sized boxes with a unique hexagonal look. With literally thousands of combinations of engraved art and wood-type, no two boxes are the same. If wood carving, dice, and DnD is your thing, go check us out. P.S. We miss Barry Bluejeans.
Featured NPCs Edit
Featured Locations Edit
TAAKO: Hey and well met and stuff. Uh, I’m Taako and we’re from- well, you know– (as Justin) And I wink seven times. CAPTAIN CAPTAIN BANE: […] Who the hell are you three, what are you doing, I’m busy here! TAAKO: Are you Bane? CAPTAIN CAPTAIN BANE: Yeah, I’m Captain Captain Bane, what of it? MAGNUS: We’re from the wink and the nudge sent us. Hm? Hm? CLINT: And we’re wiggling our eyebrows. MAGNUS: Haah? (as Travis) And leaning in suggestively. TAAKO: Let’s put it this way: You can understand us when we say the words 'Voidfish'. CAPTAIN CAPTAIN BANE: Yep, yeah, that does it. Good stuff, good stuff – Let me see your arms, though. TRAVIS: I flex. (as Magnus) Whaddya think? JUSTIN: I hold out the arm that doesn’t have a bracelet on it. CLINT: I hold out my leg.
Preparing to scrimmage: Edit
JUSTIN: You drop us into the middle of a fight. I don't know the stakes. Are there any BABES we're trying to impress GRIFFIN: Circling the ring, there are dozens of Bureau of Balance employees that are there to see what these three reclaimers that have brought back two Grand Relics. They want to know what these three people are capable of. And so yeah, I guess there are a few women in the audience, so... JUSTIN: Okay, Griffin, there are women, but are there BEYYBES? GRIFFIN: There are no more than... There are no less than four BEBS, but no LESS than sixteen BEYYYYABES.
An... easy quest? Edit
TAAKO: [cautiously] That sounds pretty easy... That sounds better than the train! If we work at it, I'm sure we'll figure something out... MAGNUS: If we just work together and stay positive! TAAKO: Yeah!! MERLE: [the crushing voice of reality] Guys. We suck! We suuuuuck! TAAKO: Speak for yourself, homie, I'm level six!
I do that! Edit
AVI: Why don't you guys hop into that fun ball and we'll get you going. JUSTIN: I do that. TRAVIS: We do that. CLINT: I do that. GRIFFIN: I'm gonna get tee shirts printed that just say "I Do That."
[Fan art of said tee shirts here.]
Trent is cut in half: Edit
MERLE: Let me translate. He aggressively is going to retaliate against you and cause you some damage. MAGNUS: But... I chopped him in half. GRIFFIN: [rolling dice] And he is going to take some damage from that. TRAVIS: Yeah! I should hope so!