Here There Be Gerblins Edit
Griffin: What is his party skill? How hard does he party? You may not have-
Clint: He parties like it’s 1999.
Clint: Let’s move out!
Travis: Let’s roll out.
Justin: Alright, let’s ride!
Griffin: Do you say any dope shit when you do it?
Clint: Yes. I, I do. I say...
Travis: “She thinks my tractor’s sexy!”
Griffin: It’s gone, it’s just, it’s turned into, uh, snow. It turned into beautiful snow, and the snow is swirling all around you -
Merle: Let it go, let it goooo--
Clint: So as we’re walking… yeah, yeah. We’re Annie Lennox, walking on broken glass.
Griffin: You think to yourselves, like, “I will never forget this moment when I heard this dope-ass tune.”
Travis: Is it better or worse than Call Me Maybe?
Griffin: Uhh. It- equal.
Griffin: Should we just cancel the podcast? Because I’m apparently incapable of stringing sentences together.
Clint: Let me give you a musical break. It’s a dais, it’s a dais, it’s a dais. Take it!
Magnus: Oh, The Reclaimers!
Taako: I would walk 500 miles--
Merle: -and I would walk 500 more.
Taako: Love that track. Love that track, on board.
Taako: Sunshine On Leith, right?
Griffin: Did you just Google “The Proclaimers” to think of other songs that they did?
Clint: No, that--
Taako: No, I had that--
Clint: He knew it.
Taako: I had that on cassette, homie.
Justin: Golem...paint your picture, about how it’s gonna be…
Travis: --I’m trying to--
Justin: By now I should know better… the attacks are never freee...
Clint: No dogs allowed on the moon…
Griffin: We actually have uhh--
Travis: This is ground control to Major Dog!
Murder on the Rockport Limited Edit
Griffin: M’kay. Cool. Yeah, you, uh, you have whipped him. You whipped him good.
Griffin: I mean, if you wanna be basically uh, a copycat of Taako, then absolutely go for it.
Griffin: But I thought-- I thought you were listening when Fleetwood Mac told you to “Go Your Own Way.”
Griffin: The spoon could be shaped like a club if you were a very small person with a big imagination.
Clint: There is no life I know...
Griffin: Taako, take the wheel.
Clint: Taako take the wheel.
Griffin: Yeah, you have basically created the Ah-Ha video but it’s in the engineer’s car.
Griffin: The credits start to roll, soft accordion music is playing, uh, and uh, you -
Clint: Que sera, sera….
Avi: You guys - you guys are fucking legends.
Taako: We’re like a runaway train, never coming back.
Petals to the Metal Edit
Griffin: It’s sort of carved out of this, uh, bleak landscape by these two, uh, wide crystal blue, crystal clear... Crystal Gayle rivers.
Clint: Don’t it make my brown water blue
Justin: I shout from the Ethereal Plane-
Taako: Oh, he’s got a gun!
Justin: But nobody can hear me, and I’m just watching this unfold.
Taako: Mm, whatcha say…
Griffin: Oh, I love him! He did that uh, a licky boom-boom, down.
Justin: No, that’s just Snow. That’s-
Griffin: Alright, you’re super sturdy! You- you are, moving up these stairs in a sprightly manner.
Clint: Gonna fly now…!
Griffin: Walking with my feet ten feet off the ground!
Travis: His name is Elfis.
Clint: Well, here’s what we do. We walk in and we’re all singing Greased Lightning.
Justin: Oh, that’s good, like the T-birds.
Clint: Yeah, yeah. Greased Lightning!
Griffin: For god’s sake no, you’re jumping on the blob on the lake and sending each other flying and you’re having an ice cream party!
Clint: Okay, all right. We had joy, we had fun, we ha-
Griffin: Montage, the montage is over.
Travis: Morning montage!
Clint: Morning has broken!-
The Announcer: Get out of my dreams, and into my battlewagon! Hop in the backseat, baby! It's the Adventure Zone!
Clint: Yeah, I’ve got uh, I’ve got to use one of the charges on the uh, the Spanner of uh, Adam Ant.
Griffin: Okay, you uh-
Clint: Goody two, goody two, goody goody two shoes!
Justin: It makes that noise- I can’t believe this thing makes that noise when you use it!
Griffin: No sleep til-
Justin and Travis: Phandalin.
Travis: Stay with him, through the night.
Garyl: Nah, dude, I’ve got like an hour. Hell, like fifty five now.
Clint: Hold me closer, tiny Garrrryll.
Justin: Imagine Tik-Tok or nothing. I have nothing else.
Clint: Ease on down, ease on down the road!
Travis: Ok yeah, that’s The Wiz-
Clint: Oh, right, right.
Lunar Interlude II Edit
Griffin: Yeah they’re jammin’. They’re doin’ a little song together using the notes that the void fish belted out.
Merle: “Free Bird”! Play “Free Bird”!
Griffin: You yell that as they’re noodling, but they seem like they’re both sorta hypnotized by each other, with this-- with this song.
The Crystal Kingdom Edit
Clint: It’s Black Water by the Doobie Brothers.
Griffin: Thank you. He plays some music but it's slow, and very- it is of a concerned tone.
Justin: Play some funky dixieland.
Griffin: It's in a minor key.
Fantasy Justin: Ah man, nothing says love in a fantasy time like Pea-bo.
Clint: This is Yah Mo B There.
Griffin: This is Fantasy Justin filling in for Delilah, who I killed and have taken over her life The Talented Mr. Ripley style.
Carey: Okay, let's just hurry, we're running out of time!
Magnus: Hackin' and whackin' and slashing...
Magnus: It goes like "Here in my crystal kingdom. There is a castle on a cloud."
Griffin: I have been accused-
Magnus: I like to go there in my dreams, here in my crystal kingdom.
Griffin: And then suddenly the whole room is blue sapphire.
Griffin: And then very quickly before you can finish singing any more of the song-
Griffin: So yes, that was where we left you last time. You’re lying naked on the floor. You’re not naked. You’re in null suits.
Clint: And who’da thought we’d ever miss The Girl from Ipanema playin’ on the sound system?
Upsy: I could do that for you if you want it to! Happen!
Taako: Hey, Carey, if you wanna be a hero, I mean—we could use at least one. Right?
Magnus: Wouldn’t say no.
Clint: Carey, don’t be a hero!
The Eleventh Hour Edit
Roswell: So just to get the story straight, you guys saw a big bubble and you just walked right into it?
Merle: Uh, actually we were [singing to the tune of Bon Jovi’s “You Give Love A Bad Name”] shot through the wall and you’re to blame.
Taako: [singing] But it’s not your fault, sorry about the mistake.
Griffin: Or ask it. That’s why - when you meet a person, sometimes you say, like, “What’s your name?” But you guys have been rude boys.
Griffin: Come on, rude boys. Come and give it up.
Justin: [singing] Look at this photograph, it’s me getting blown up again. I lost the photograph, this thing doesn’t work like that. [Travis laughs] Whoa, that song’s a paradox.
Griffin: Yeah, shit.
Griffin: Yeah, there is one that starts with the letter S in the machine, and it’s Susanna.
Travis: Okay. That’s the name that’s scratched out.
Clint: Oh! Susanna. [Justin laughs]
Griffin: Okay, you’re in there, and you’re in there so early that you actually see these two purple kerchief ruffian-looking folks. And, they’re just, they’re drunk. They’re not like, threatening anybody, they’re just kinda drunk and they’re causing a scene. And they’re talking about how shitty the bubble is and how they’re gonna pop this thing one way or another, and they got big, big plans. It’s kinda like that scene in Hamilton, “The Story Of Tonight”, only if everyone was like dicks.
Travis: [singing to the tune of “Our God Is an Awesome God”] Our God is an Istus God!
Merle: So your name is Luca.
Luca: Are you about to do a joke about the song Luka?
Merle: [Hesitates] No.
Magnus: Paloma! Paloma, I’m waving at you!
Griffin: She just yells,
Griffin: -out the door.
Travis: Aah, so she is a hollaback girl!
Clint: It’s a mother and child re-u-u-u-nion! You guys have heard that song before right?
Travis: Nope! But I get the point of it, it was pretty straight forward.
Griffin: You literally said the thing that happened.
Travis: You did it to music.
Clint: Well, Paul Simon did originally, I was just quoting.
MaxFunCon East Live Edit
Griffin: Brad, what do you do, do you keep your posish'?
Stuart: I keep my position, and I start humming Arms Wide Open under my breath.
The Suffering Game Edit
Justin: So I just spread my wings--
Griffin: Holy shit!
Justin: And turn into just like, the most beautiful soaring dove, as strains of Nelly Furtado’s ‘I’m Like a Bird’ caress my wings as I fly.
Griffin: You are back in the wonder wheel room and the theme song to that is, of course, a fun parody of the song Wonderwall by Oasis, that I’ve written and I'll sing for you right now.
Justin: I know what you should put in there. The B-I-B-L-E.
Griffin: Oh my god.
Justin: ‘Cause that’s the book for me, I stand alone on the word of Pan, the B-I-B-L-E. Bible!
Travis: Is it time for us to do our sexy turn on the catwalk?
Griffin: Uh, I think this would be a pretty good time for that.
Clint: Ohhh! So it’s a dinosaur, not the band, T-Rex!
Justin: No, n-no, no, an actual--
Clint: Okay, I gotcha, I gotcha.
Griffin: Although he can bang a gong.
Justin: Yes, and he does wonder about the metal guru, is it true.
Lunar Interlude V Edit
Taako: Under the sea, less than a sea, more of a tank, full of our filth!
Taako: Hey, remember this one? I want my body back body back body back, I want my body back. Remember, Chilis? No but seriously, you’ll lose it all.
The Stolen Century Edit
Merle: Um, lookin’ for God! I’m looking for God in all the wrong places! Nah, I figure this— this whole Lightness of Being stuff, maybe it’s a beam of Lightness and so I’m, I’m going along because there are more forces out there than we know to deal with, Jeff.
Clint: -trying to build up their faith that there was life, you know, that there was an afterlife and everything else. So I think he would gather them, as many as he could, in the big wood cathedral. The big shroom cathedral, and sing ‘Nearer My Pan To Thee’.
Travis: Well, as I think everybody knows… Magnus’ love of animals and, you know, his heroic start defending a dog. So he hears a haunting melody about dogs that have escaped, and the cry that went up from across the town of who let all these dogs escape? Where have these dogs gone? Who did this? Who? Who? Who? Who?
Griffin: Alright. I’m sorry I asked.
Travis: It’s haunting. It’s terrifying. Just the sheer panic in the people’s voices as they call for who the-- who’s the culprit? Who’s done this terrible deed?
Clint: I heard Cheeseburger in Paradise-
Clint: -the live version. The live one. Not, not the album.
Griffin: Um, Davenport gets up on the stage, and sings a beautiful, tenor opera solo, that goes on for like, eighteen minutes. But you are enraptured the entire time. He’s got a lovely, beautiful lil’ voice that sort of echoes down the valley, that these presentations take place in.
Griffin: I’m getting a- like a real feeling of fuckin’ Leland Palmer dancing-
Justin: Fucking, oh mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy, a kid’ll eat ivy too, wouldn’t you?
Justin: And then I go to the record player and I turn on the Thong Song. And I do my fuckin’ Thong Song lip sync. It is… basically amazing. I- can’t even really put words, do justice to it with words… but… I feel like it always makes Lup laugh. ’Cause it’s really ridiculous.